I Feel Like Escaping Due to High Stress

Hello. Today is the day for the Religious Leaders’ Meeting for National Reconciliation and Peace.

After completing his morning practice and meditation, Sunim headed to the Peace Foundation for the Religious Leaders’ Meeting. Once the pastor, priest, minister, bishop, and spiritual leader all arrived at the Jungto Social and Cultural Center, they began the meeting over a meal together.

After finishing the meal, they moved to the Peace Foundation’s conference room to engage in more in-depth discussions. First, Sunim shared news about the completion of a school for 4,000 students in the earthquake-affected Türkiye-Syria border region, which he had visited last week.

“Syria has been in a civil war for over 10 years, and on top of that, the earthquake damage was extensive. Given the situation, building a large school for 4,000 students attracted many local government officials and guests to the opening ceremony, and the response was very positive.”

Bishop Park Kyung-jo shared his thoughts after watching the video of the opening ceremony.

“Sunim, you’ve really accomplished something great. I think the reason Han Kang won the Nobel Prize in Literature is also largely due to her awareness of the issue of violence occurring worldwide. Where are you going next week?”

“I’m going to Bhutan. We plan to engage in agriculture. Last time, we planted rice seedings together, and this time, we’ll harvest while having conversations.”

“Sunim, you’re giving alms with your body.”

“We want to help with what Sunim is doing, but we can’t go together. All we can do is pray from afar for the success of Sunim’s work.”

“Just providing financial support can’t solve the problem. We’re trying to build farm roads between rice paddies, but the residents are reluctant to give up even a small part of their land for roads when they want to plant as much rice as possible. Young staff members don’t understand this. That’s why I want to go there, sit on the rice paddy ridges, listen carefully to the residents’ stories, and explain why building farm roads is important for the future. These kinds of issues can’t be resolved with money alone.”

Next, they reviewed and discussed the draft of the pilgrimage program planned for next month to commemorate the 200th anniversary of the birth of Suun Choe Je-u Daeshinsa.

They finalized the details of the pilgrimage route, including Choe Je-u Daeshinsa’s birthplace and the origin of Donghak where he attained enlightenment, as well as specific programs such as dialogue sessions on the impact of Donghak thought on modern Korean history, accommodation, and transportation methods.

Pastor Park Jong-hwa expressed his concern about the news of North Korean troops being deployed to support the war in Ukraine.

“I think there will be many casualties among the North Korean troops deployed to Ukraine. They’re likely to be used as cannon fodder. It’s a national tragedy. It’s truly heartbreaking.”

Spiritual Leader Park Nam-soo voiced his concerns about the increased risk of war on the Korean Peninsula.

“The South Korean government is provoking North Korea with loudspeaker broadcasts, and North Korea is responding by sending balloons filled with trash. The people living in Paju, Cheorwon, and Yeonpyeong Island are in distress, saying they can’t live like this anymore.”

Bishop Park Kyung-jo added:

“The unmanned aerial vehicle sent by South Korea that flew over Pyongyang and dropped leaflets is a clear violation of the armistice agreement. North Korea’s regime is unstable, and the current South Korean government’s approval rating is at its worst. It seems both sides are trying to divert attention from their crises by doing reckless things. It’s similar to how Kim Il-sung and Park Chung-hee used to strengthen their dictatorships by creating tension.

If war is about to break out on the Korean Peninsula, let’s resolve to be the first to stand in front of tanks and be crushed in opposition to war. We’ve lived long lives and enjoyed much. The young people have so much more life ahead of them.”

Sunim also expressed deep concern about the current situation.

“The current situation on the Korean Peninsula is so dangerous that it wouldn’t be surprising if war broke out tomorrow. Moreover, the medical crisis is likely to cause greater harm to the public as time goes on. It’s a serious problem that politics is unable to resolve.”

They agreed to meet again next month for further discussions and concluded the meeting after 9:30 AM.

After seeing off the religious leaders, Sunim moved to the broadcasting studio at the Seoul Jungto Center to conduct the live Weekly Dharma Assembly.

At 10 AM, with all Jungto Society members logged into the video conference room, the live Weekly Dharma Assembly began. First, they watched a video showcasing the activities of Jungto Society members over the past week. Then, Sunim gave his opening remarks.

“The weather has suddenly turned chilly, hasn’t it? This summer was very hot, but after the rain, the temperature dropped significantly. It feels more like early winter than cool autumn. They say the temperature will drop even further tomorrow morning. In Seoul, it’s expected to go down to 5 degrees Celsius, and with the wind, it will feel even colder. During the hot summer, it seemed like winter would never come, but now we’re already feeling winter weather. Perhaps that’s why people in the past said that no one can beat the passage of time. When the temperature drops suddenly, you’re more likely to catch a cold, so please dress warmly and take care of your health. There’s a saying that if you shiver in the first cold spell, you’ll shiver all year round. Be careful not to catch a chill in this first cold spell.”

Next, Sunim engaged in a dialogue with those who had submitted questions in advance. Three people raised their hands using the button and asked Sunim questions. One of them asked how to manage the desire to escape from reality when under stress.

I Feel Like Escaping Due to High Stress

“I have a strong desire to appear well in front of others and high expectations for myself, which often leads to disappointment when I don’t meet these expectations. I also experience a lot of stress at work, and this stress and tension often cause physical discomfort. Last year, during the semester when I was writing my thesis, I had such severe shoulder pain that I had to visit an orthopedic clinic. The doctor said there wasn’t any new physical issue, but that my shoulder was tense and painful due to stress. When I thought about writing the thesis, my mind would go blank, so I ended up taking a semester off. Whenever I thought about the thesis, I felt distressed and sought momentary pleasure in games, dramas, or animations. I returned to school but decided to complete the coursework without writing the thesis. Even now, when I think that I might be able to write the thesis, my mind goes blank, and I feel anxious and burdened to the point where I can barely notice my surroundings. I know that results come from effort. However, I seem to experience much more stress and tension than others, which makes me want to escape from reality. How can I face reality objectively and live more confidently?”

“Everyone feels some tension when trying to do well. When going on a blind date, you want to make a good impression, so you feel nervous. When going for a job interview, you want to be accepted, so you can’t help but feel tense. Students feel nervous because they want to do well on their exams, and athletes feel tense before a competition because they want to perform well. They measured the heart rates of Olympic archers and found that their heart rates increase when they draw their bows due to tension. While the archers’ normal heart rates are around 70 bpm, most of them have heart rates of about 100 bpm just before shooting. However, one Korean archer’s heart rate was only about 80 bpm, slightly higher than normal. This shows how calm he was. To remain calm in such situations, first, you need confidence. Second, you shouldn’t be too attached to the results. If you think, ‘I’ll do my best with my current skills, and it’s fine whether I succeed or not,’ that’s good. But most people are too attached to the results. They have a desire to achieve better results than their actual abilities allow, which inevitably leads to tension. However, this tension ultimately leads to worse results. Even though we rationally know that tension is detrimental, our subconscious still tries to do well. So people say, ‘Who wants to be tense? What can I do when tension comes naturally?’ It’s natural to feel tense. It happens to everyone, but some people experience excessive tension. Some people get so nervous on exam day that they can’t even go to the exam site, even after studying hard. A few days ago in a Q&A session, one questioner said he had missed exams four times due to extreme nervousness, despite having studied. He could avoid this by not studying, but he still study intending to take the exam. When it’s this severe, it can be considered a mental illness. If it has reached this level of mental disorder, first, you should go to a psychiatrist for a diagnosis and receive treatment according to your symptoms. For most people, taking a sedative when feeling very tense can help reduce tension a bit. Sedatives are substances that slightly alleviate tension. If the doctor’s diagnosis shows that it’s not severe enough to require treatment but is slightly more intense than average tension, taking a sedative can help reduce the tension a bit. It’s like someone who gets carsick taking motion sickness medication before riding in a car. Similarly, sedatives are not special treatment drugs, but medications that slightly alleviate tension. You can think of them as similar to fever reducers taken when you have a fever. Instead of repeatedly asking, ‘What should I do when it’s not working?’ if you have these symptoms, you need to take appropriate measures to address them. Second, from a practice perspective, the solution is to intentionally let go of the thought of doing well. If thinking about doing well makes you tense and ultimately leads to worse results, then the thought of doing well is actually causing poor results. If thinking about doing well leads to poor results, and letting go of that thought leads to better results, then even when the thought of doing well arises, you need to intentionally control yourself by thinking, ‘Let’s let go of the thought of doing well.’ Even if the desire to do well arises naturally, you need to keep reminding yourself, ‘Thinking about doing well leads to poor results, so let’s just do it with the skills I have.’ Since high expectations lead to big disappointments, try to lower your expectations. Try bowing with a prayer like, ‘I am doing well right now.’ Don’t be greedy, just give yourself the suggestion that ‘This is good enough as it is.’ It’s great if what you’re trying to do works out and leads to better results, but it’s also fine as it is even if it doesn’t work out. Every time you pray, try bowing while repeating the mantra ‘This is good enough as it is.’

Third, we always have the option of using the 36 stratagems as a last resort. You don’t have to write the thesis. There’s no reason why you must write it. If you get too nervous every time you try to write the thesis, you can simply choose not to write it. Isn’t it better to not write the thesis than to take a six-month leave of absence and watch movies every day due to the stress of having to write it? Why must you write the thesis? The fact that you get nervous and feel sick every time you try to write the thesis means that writing it doesn’t suit your aptitude. Being tested by others doesn’t suit you at all. The same goes for job interviews. So, in your case, how should you find a job? Choose a profession that doesn’t require testing. If you farm or run your own shop, you don’t need to be tested by others. You might feel nervous about whether your business will do well, but that’s a risk you can take on yourself. So, you can simply avoid jobs that require evaluation from others. There’s no reason to pursue a job that doesn’t suit your nature. If you take a job that doesn’t suit you, you’ll be constantly nervous, and it might make you sick in the future. Why would you choose such a job? First, you should go to a psychiatrist for a consultation. Second, keep some tranquilizers with you and take them whenever you feel nervous. Third, try praying while doing prostrations every day, saying “I’m fine just as I am now” to calm your mind. If none of these work, you can choose a job that suits your aptitude. If you approach it from the perspective of finding a job that suits you, there won’t be any problem. Isn’t it better to live comfortably without writing the thesis than to lock yourself in your room for six months due to the pressure of having to write it? However, you shouldn’t use the 36 stratagems from the beginning unconditionally. The meaning symbolized by the 36 stratagems is that ‘if this doesn’t work and that doesn’t work, there’s always the option of not doing it.’ If you’ve tried everything and nothing works, there’s always the option of not doing it in the end. I advise you to try other things first and keep the last stratagem for later use.”

“Yes, thank you. I’ll try everything I can do first, and use the 36 stratagems as a last resort, as you suggested.”

The questions continued.

After an hour of Dharma Q&A, the live broadcast ended just after 11 o’clock. Sunim left the broadcasting room and returned to the Jungto Social and Cultural Center.

After lunch, he attended a Peace Foundation research seminar from 1 PM. This month’s seminar topic was “Competitive Education is Barbaric.” Professor Kim Nu-ri from Chung-Ang University gave a passionate three-hour lecture.

“Germany, which experienced Hitler’s fascism, thought that uprooting Hitler’s worldview was the starting point of true reconciliation with the past after the 1968 revolution under the Willy Brandt government. The goal of German education reform was to ensure that Auschwitz would never be repeated, and as a result of educational reform that eliminated ‘barbaric competitive education,’ it became the most mature country.

In early September 2020, when a fire broke out in a Syrian refugee camp in Greece leaving 15,000 Syrian refugees homeless, the German government announced that it would first accept 2,700 of them. This led to protests by tens of thousands of people in 40 cities. The Berlin protesters took to the streets with placards saying ‘Provide housing worthy of human dignity, send everyone to Germany.’ This mature civic consciousness all stems from education without competition.”

The professor emphasized that the triangle of barbarism – meritocracy ideology, fairness ideology, and competition ideology – is destroying South Korea. Sunim listened attentively to the presentation and shared his thoughts.

“I listened carefully to your presentation. In fact, reforming education is more difficult than reforming politics. Parents, teachers, and educational administrators all have only the experience of receiving past education, but children need to live in the future. When we try to reform education to prepare for the future, it’s not easy to get support from even one of these three groups. And since the superintendent of education is elected, if he try to reform education, he risks losing the next election. That’s why I think it’s even more difficult to reform.”

The professor fully agreed with Sunim’s words and suggested three solutions.

“I would like to propose three things for an educational revolution. First, we must abolish university entrance exams. As long as university entrance exams exist, all educational reforms end up as entrance exam reforms. We should change it so that only high school graduation exams are taken. Anyone who passes certain qualifications should be able to go to university. Second, we must eliminate the university hierarchy system with Seoul National University, Yonsei University, and Korea University at the top. As long as competition to enter ranked universities is perceived as education, no educational reform is possible. Third, we must eliminate university tuition fees. When I argue this, many people call me an idealist, but these three things are not ideals but already everyday reality in Europe. There are no countries in Europe that have university entrance exams.

For this to happen, one million students, teachers, and parents need to gather in Gwanghwamun and hold candles for education reform. Students need to shout, ‘We are not studying machines. We are dignified human beings.’ Teachers need to awaken and regain their political citizenship. In OECD countries, the average proportion of members of parliament with a teaching background is 10 percent. Teachers need to be able to voice their opinions for substantial educational reform to be possible. The surest way is to elect an education president. By changing public opinion, the political circle, and the Blue House in this way, educational reform can be achieved. I think it could be possible within eight years if we make an effort.”

The seminar concluded with a big round of applause after the professor’s proposed solutions.

After taking a commemorative photo together, the professor expressed his respect for Sunim, mentioning that he had seen the news about the completion of a school in Syria.

“I read your article where you said that after building a school in earthquake-stricken Syria, the Syrian people themselves should launch a national campaign to eradicate illiteracy. I was deeply moved by your words.”

“If others build a school for them, it becomes someone else’s school. They need to take the initiative for it to become their own. Relying on others’ help doesn’t last long.”

After seeing off the professor, from 4 PM, Sunim held a meeting with the Peace Foundation planning committee members to discuss domestic public opinion trends, the Peace Foundation’s 20th anniversary celebration, and the foundation’s future direction.

As the sun set, from 7:30 PM, Sunim conducted a live broadcast of the Weekly Dharma Assembly for evening members from the Seoul Jungto Center broadcasting room. As all Jungto Society members entered the video conference room, Sunim gave an opening remark.

“Over the past week, volunteers have been active in many places. I thank all those who volunteered. Jungto Society is maintained by the voluntary work of its members. Also, through the donations of our members, we are carrying out many activities to help people in need around the world. Once again, I would like to take this opportunity to thank everyone who has donated and volunteered.

The people who make up Jungto Society can be broadly divided into two types: general members and leading members. In terms of volunteering, they can be divided into committed volunteers and autonomous volunteers. Currently, leading members are in a period of semi-annual retreat for Jungto practitioners, doing 300 prostrations daily for two weeks. I would like to encourage even those members who are not participating in semi-annual retreat for Jungto practitioners to focus more on practice this autumn. For general members, practice, donation, and volunteering are recommended. However, for leading members, practice, donation, and volunteering are mandatory. This is because leading members need to play a responsible role representing Jungto Society for students of the Buddhism Course and Sutra Course. For leading members to guide students in practice, they must practice themselves; to guide in volunteering, they must volunteer themselves; to guide in donation, they must donate themselves. Therefore, for leading members, whether they practice, donate, and volunteer affects their membership status. However, for general members, while these are not mandatory but recommended, I ask that you join in the practice together.”

In the evening, four people who had submitted questions in advance engaged in a dialogue with Sunim.

When helping North Korean defectors, they often express a desire to volunteer after receiving assistance. What activities would be good to do together with them?

I’ve received education on gender sensitivity, but I’m curious about how to specifically act on it.

In one of Sunim’s Dharma talks, he said, “True repentance is knowing that there is no inherent nature to sin.” What does this mean?

Russia and North Korea have strengthened their military cooperation, and North Korean troops have been deployed to the war in Ukraine. The possibility of war on the Korean Peninsula seems higher than ever. How should we view this situation?

The live broadcast ended after 9 PM.

Tomorrow’s schedule includes a breakfast meeting with North Korea experts in the morning, followed by a meeting with guests visiting The Peace Foundation. At lunch, there will be a preparatory meeting for the India pilgrimage. In the afternoon, Sunim will have an online meeting with the Dharma Q&A Task Force team, and then meet with Namal, who has been doing emergency relief volunteer work in Sri Lanka.