I'm 85 years old this year. How should I live the rest of my life?

Hello. Today, Sunim took a full day of rest for the first time in a long while.

Sunim began his day with early morning practice and meditation. Perhaps because he had carried out the INEB schedule without any time to recover from his recent trip to Bhutan, his health was not in good condition today. Early in the morning, Sunim revised a manuscript, and for the rest of the day, he focused on rest and treatment.

Tomorrow, a special Dharma assembly at Jukrimjeongsa Temple and a special lecture at Sangmudae are scheduled.

Since there was no Dharma talk today, this post concludes with a Dharma Q&A from this past May.

I'm 85 years old this year. How should I live the rest of my life?

"I'm 85 years old this year, and I've been part of Jungto Society for 23 years. At first, I went to the Awakening Retreat without really knowing what it was, and that's how this connection began. I've completed both the Jungto Buddhism Course and the Jungto Sutra Course, and I've also been on a pilgrimage to the holy sites in India. I love Sunim's Dharma talks and the Buddha's teachings, and they have been a great help in my life. But now that I've reached this age, I find that my body is not what it used to be. Even a little exertion makes my legs and back ache, I lose the desire to do things, and I don't have much courage anymore. In this state, when the thought 'Should I quit Jungto Society now?' arises, it feels as if my life is ending and even my sense of existence is disappearing, so I hesitate. Still, I gathered my courage and arrived here yesterday, and meeting Sunim and my fellow practitioners today gives me strength. I don't know how long I'll be able to stay involved with Jungto Society, but I'd like to know what path I should choose when I reach an age like mine."

"You're ten years older than I am. These days my body is also hurting in various places. It's like an old car that's about to be scrapped—one thing breaks down, then another. As soon as you fix one part, another part fails, and you start wondering if it wouldn't be better to just scrap the whole thing. As we age, our body's functions break down here and there. This is natural, so we should accept it as a matter of course. Not long ago, I visited Bongamsa Temple for Great Master Seoam's memorial day. There's an elder monk there who is over 80. He asked me whether I was still traveling around the world in good health, and I told him, 'These days I also have aches and pains here and there, and things keep breaking down.' Then the monk said there's a saying: 'Before 70, you drag your body around, but after 70, you must adjust your mind to your body.' It means that before 70, you drag your body along wherever your mind leads, but after 70, the body comes first and the mind must follow. It's truly a wise saying. It means things don't work just because you resolve and determine with your mind. Don't push yourself too hard—just do as much as your body allows. According to that, if you get tired while doing the dishes, you should take a nap and resume later; if eating becomes tiring, rest a bit and then continue; if meditating becomes physically difficult, lie down for a while and then resume. You should act according to your body's condition. Can you hear me clearly?"

"Yes, I can hear you well."

"It's good that you can still hear well even though you're over 80. My voice has changed a lot recently—it's no longer as clear and ringing as it used to be. We always live by dragging our bodies along. Even when it's a bit hard, once you start working, you feel better. I've lived that way all my life too, but when I heard what that monk said, I thought it was truly a wise saying. As you age, you should just follow what your body wants. When doing anything, first, do only as much as your body can handle. Doing more than that will invite illness. You can't endure and tough it out like when you were young. Second, even in Confucianism, which places great importance on etiquette, there's a saying that people over 80 don't need to observe formalities. If you get tired during a service at the Dharma hall, you can lie down; you don't have to bow during ancestral rites. In the old days, few people lived to 80. If you lived to that age, you'd even see your great-grandchildren. So those over 80 were called 'living spirits.' Here, 'spirit' doesn't have a negative meaning—it means you've become almost like a divine being. Normally, as humans, we should bow to our ancestors and bow to the Buddha, but because you've become like a divine being, you don't necessarily have to bow. This isn't considered a breach of etiquette. This kind of teaching is ultimately in the same vein as the ancient sage's words: 'Act according to your body's condition.' So do what you can, but don't push yourself too hard. A Dharma Teacher living in Busan has an elderly mother who still does prostrations, but she can no longer volunteer as much as before. Honestly, living alone after 80 is a bit risky. It doesn't mean someone needs to be by your side all the time, but it's hard to respond to emergencies. One person was caught when a door suddenly flew open from a gust of wind; she was pulled along, fell down, and injured her back, which caused her great suffering. Another person climbed onto a chair to take something down from a shelf, fell, and got hurt. As you age, your body doesn't do what you want it to. So once you're over 80, you don't have to come all the way to the Dharma hall like this. When you can't do something—not because you don't want to, but because your body won't cooperate—you need to accept that. In such cases, you can connect via the internet. Jungto Society is connected wherever you are in the world. If you want to go to the Washington DC Jungto Center but your body won't allow it, you can ask Jungto Society to let you participate online. You can join from home by turning on your phone or laptop. These days, even in Korea, when we hold offline meetings, we connect this way for those abroad. As a member of Jungto Society, the service is set up so that anyone, anywhere, can participate together. This way, you can stay involved until your last breath. You still look healthy to me, so unless you have other chronic illnesses, I think you'll be able to be with us until you're 90."

"Yes, thank you, Sunim."